Moms often write about how their children brighten their days and how cute their kids are. I don't hear much about moms complaining on how their babies spat up on their designer clothes or broke their lipstick. Well it's reality. I don't care if you have 1 or 10 kids, every mom has gotten overwhelmed more than once in their lives. Let's be real, being a mom is pretty stressful at times and mommy meltdowns do happen, often times to moms with young babies.
Let me share how it happened with me.
(prepare to be stressed out, Skip this part if you'd rather not!)
- This begins between 12-5am: my daughter wakes several times to feed (which doesn't happen regularly, she must be having a growth spurt)
- Groggy, I wake up late and the moment I open my eyes my eldest rushes to me and starts the question brigade, eg. mom can i have egg for breakfast? mom can i watch tv? mom can i have pizza bread? mom what are we doing today?
- I step out of the room and manang, our all-around cook starts her reports "mam, wala na pong bigas, nagorder pala ako ng shellane" the list goes on (ma'am we ran out of raw rice, I ordered shellane.. ) I give her cash.
- I go back to the room and baby cries, she wants to feed again.
- I realize I should get ready for mother's day lunch. Everything takes 2x as long with two kids. My eldest fights with me over what she wants to wear, she insists on wearing an old dress that's way too short for her. She had it when she was 3, she's already 5. Note to self, hide all outgrown dresses.
- I'm done dressing up then I realize my pants and top have milk stains. I report this to manang. So I get dressed again. This takes forever since I'm still not back to my pre-pregnancy body. My thoughts-the joys of motherhood.
- I skip breakfast and rush out with two kids and a yaya in tow. We pick up my mom's mother's day cake I realize I dont have enough cash on hand (with manang!) and have no time to pass by an atm. Thankfully, a good friend made the cake, she lets me pay next week.
- We're on the road, I turn on the radio for a bit of music and already my eldest asks "mom can we listen to baby music?", there goes my freedom!
- Half way to the trip, baby cries for milk, I park on the side of the road, hazard and nurse. I text my sister to start ordering. We will be late.
- After feeding, I realize my BB's joystick aint working. Damn it, of all days! Now how do i get to the message where it says what resto we're going? Luckily my Darling Husband calls and I task him-of course he doesnt know! That's why he called. haaay... He calls back and tells me the name of the resto and whines about getting lost-men and directions...
- I opt for vallet, it's mother's day-there's no parking in whole of manila. On one hand I balance the cake box, on the other hand I have my eldest. Yaya has the youngest.
- We get to Mr. Rockefeller restaurant. Although the place is nice, our area was warm and our food, after following up over 3 times, came in after 45 minutes. I'm hungry and exhausted, my eldest whines about my sister's iphone games and my baby is feeling hot, she wants to nurse, again.
- We decide to go around the mall after-bad idea. There are a million people in the mall, half of them are in strollers. There is a wait for the elevator.
- My daughter starts asking for ice cream-NONE STOP.
- We go around looking for a nice quiet ice cream parlor-the place does not exist.
- I get home, my eldest whines about not wanting to take a nap but of course she follows anyway.
- I turn on the aircon. Finally I get to put my feet up BUT just then the baby wants to nurse. I feed her. By this time I'm drained, in all sense of the word.
- I tell myself I'll watch "the buzz", maybe none sense TV will relax me. My husband arrives and starts talking just when the juicy chismis comes. He ends his story right in time for commercial. I'm not happy.
- It rains hard, my eldest wakes too early because she's scared. She starts asking if she can watch TV, again none stop.
- After about 30 minutes hell hour begins. It came early today. The witching hour, or to us the hell hour, is what we call the hour when babies are too tired and they start crying uncontrollably. I feed her and give her to my husband. This is my tipping point. I get my shrug and I start to leave. He lets me go. He says he'll take care of everything, he knows I'm having a mommy melt down.
MOMMY MELTDOWN MOMENT
Every now and then I get overwhelmed although this is just the third time I've gotten in my car and left. The first time this happened I went to the salon and got my hair and nails done, the second time I just parked somewhere and called my bestfriend in Canada, this time I just wanted to be alone. I feel like every minute of everyday I'm with someone. Don't get me wrong I love my kids but sometime I miss myself too, my alone time. So I drive around with Veruca Salt and some angry drum and bass blasting through my car speakers, my thoughts- f*ck baby mozart!
I have no idea where I'm going. It's 7pm and I decide to do a touchdown at Tagaytay. When I was in my teens or early 20s, my friends and I would drive to Tagaytay, have a beer and a cigarette and drive back home. We called that touchdown. Of course I wasn't planning on drinking and smoking. I just wanted to drive through the highway. Anyway, I park at the gas station and I text my DH. He calls, I tell him to to please have dinner on time and not to forget to give my eldest her asthma meds. He tells me everything is ok and I have milk in the freezer. He also tells me not to go too far. On the turn heading for the highway I realize the roads towards Tagaytay will be dark and it may be irresponsible for me to go. Also, I'm just in my house dress and flipflops. I pass the turn to the highway, make a U-turn and drive around some more. I reach a big and quiet gas station, I fill up with gas. I realize they have a 711. I park and get a slurpee! Man, I haven't had this in YEARS. I go to the restroom to take a look in the mirror. I realize I have my cam with me. I take a picture.
I head back home. I am drained, and this time in a good way.
I text my husband that I'm outside and asks him to ride with me. By this time the kids are asleep. I wait for him outside like a teen aged boyfriend. We drive around and enjoy quiet time (with loud music still). We decide to get some take-home shawarmas.
We get home, I check on my eldest. She's sleeping. Just when I'm about to bite into my shawarma, my youngest cues for milk. I put the shawarma down and take her, with much gusto.
NOTE TO SELF:
- must make more me time, no errands allowed
- need to pump more to be able to do errands without kids in tow
- need to workout for more energy
- no more trips to the mall on weekends and holidays!
With kids like these,
and a husband like this,
I feel like the luckiest mom on earth! But when they're older and it's mothers day I might have to tell them, in the sweetest way a mother knows how, to please leave me the f alone. That's how mother's day should be spent.
maids can sometimes be annoying. they show "initiative" by being a know it all. they want to show us that they are smart. yes, they are smart but they are always trying so hard to prove it to us in very annoying ways. they pretend to be oblivious to your situation. For example, this one time when gabbi was still 8 months old, I was trying to make her sleep, and this maid just started cleaning around the house loudly. why clean now? why didn't she clean when it was not sleeping time?
ReplyDeleteit is just funny that i also had a mild mommy meltdown on mother's day. i was expecting it to be a really special day for me because it my day, mommy's day. but i was not special at all. it was just a normal day and no one tried to make me feel special. i expected it to be a queen for a day but no, nobody really cares. it is media's fault for this way of thinking. They should plant it in our brains that on mother's day, we mothers should do something special for our family and not the other way around. i think this would make us not expect anything on this day.
i can totally relate with drinking a slurpee alone with nobody bugging me. this may seem funny to want to be alone and drink something but for me, drinking my coffee at 5:30 am alone and watching tv by myself with no toddler hanging on my back trying to choke me is the best part of my day. isn't it funny that when we were not yet moms, we were so scared to be alone, well, now, we got what we wished for. we are never alone and we are never bored.
true, true, we must exercise to have endorphins in our body. we need endorphins so that we won't snap.
thank you for writing this blog, gail. you made me feel that i am not alone trying to deal with this roller coaster like journey called motherhood. There are days when it seems sooooo sooo fun and exciting and there are days when i just want to jump out and transfer to a "different ride."
good job, gail! keep writing and inspiring mothers and women out there to be the best they can be.
true that! it really just for consumerism's sake, shouldn't mother's day be everyday? haha Thanks for letting me know you feel the same an that it does happen to other moms too. <3
DeleteOh I feel you, Gail! And I have two hyper energetic boys...a 4 yr old and a 1 yr old baby. So I know what you're talking about. I have meltdowns a lot too. The constant neediness of kids can be overwhelming and "me" time is the only way to keep sane. :) Thanks for letting me know am not the only one who gets bad days :)
ReplyDeleteLooks like you have such beautiful babies and a handsome loving hubby by the way :)
thanks for leaving a comment Richelle! Knowing that there are others than can relate lessens the "mom guilt" and makes mommy meltdowns more real. Many many thanks :)
ReplyDelete